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Friday, January 18, 2013

Being Carried Through the Storm

According to a mental health online test, the number of things I have experienced in this past year should be a big problem.  I should be a mess.  I answered truthfully forty three yes or no questions about life events I may or may not have experienced in the last twelve months.  Each question carries it's own score (unseen) and at the end it tallies your results.

The scores were broken down as follows:

If you scored:
150 or less it's considered minor stress
150-199 mild stress
200-299 moderate stress
300 + major stress

I scored 424.  Huh.  Really.  Do I look stressed?


Ok, maybe in that photo I do.

The funny thing is, I don't feel stressed at all.  Could I have buried so deep that I can't feel it?  Nahh, anyone who knows me knows I wear my heart on my arm (too hot for sleeves here).   So why, if I have experienced so much in the past year do I feel a peace, a calm and a joy that doesn't make any logical sense?

I remember many years ago standing in a friends hallway and seeing the 'footprints' poem.  I had seen in before but I had never read it.  At that point in my life I was in a very similar situation in that many things in my life had changed in a very short period of time, my world had been completely shaken and turned upside down.

I read the words of the poem and at the end, found myself fighting off tears and not understanding why.  At a time when I felt so alone, so tired and so lost the thought of someone carrying me brought me to tears.  I needed that rest.

 Although I did not have a relationship with God then, He never left my side, and deep down I knew that-even if I wasn't able to admit it then.  Now, as I walk this path in my life of high high's,  immense change and painful heart ache, yet feeling a peace that passes understanding, the difference is that I know with certainty it's because He carries me. 

That's my prayer for you too.  Whether you have a relationship with God right now or not, that when you are struggling, when life seems to be sending you storm after storm, that in the midst of it you would have peace and that one day you would realize who it was who carried you.




The Footprints Prayer
One night I had a dream...

I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord, and
Across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand;
One belonged to me, and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of my life flashed before us,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life,
There was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in my life
This really bothered me, and I questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
You would walk with me all the way;
But I have noticed that during the
most troublesome times in my life,
There is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why in times when I
needed you the most, you should leave me.
The Lord replied, "My precious, precious
child. I love you, and I would never,
never leave you during your times of
trial and suffering.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you.


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